Should we change the date?

Hi!

My fianc茅 and I are engaged to be married May 10, 2008. We have told everyone that we know about the date. After we got engaged we moved into a new home and changed jobs things which made us run into money problems so we stopped all the planning for the wedding as most places wanted a $1,000 + deposit. I don檛 see us having much more money than we do now by the beginning of next year, so, should we just change the date for way further along so I can stop torturing myself with guilt for not planning the wedding? Other couples that got engaged at the same time we did have mostly everything picked out, so I feel bad when people ask me how the wedding plans are coming.



Thanks in advance!Should we change the date?
My wedding was stressful because of finances.



The first thing Id like to say is its not exactly wise to just sit down with a calendar and pick a date and assume thats the exact date you will get married. Unless you have already booked your date with a venue then I wouldnt exactly count on it. That date may already be booked by every venue you'd be happy with.



So, since money is already tight and Ive been there done that, I would suggest waiting, until you know you can afford it. Maybe push it back until the late summer/early fall.



If it werent for my husbands father helping us out at the last minute ALOT of things wouldnt have happened, we wouldnt have been able to pay the caterer, finish paying the venue, etc etc. Planning the day is stressful enough, you dont need the added stress of if you can afford it or not.



On top of that, most places will allow you to make a deposit and then pay the rest off in payments. Maybe settle on some things you like, plan for a wedding later in the year and give yourself time to make payments on it. That would give you nearly a year to pay on it.



Either way, best of luck and congrats.Should we change the date?
get married in court, throw a small party for family and friends
Its ok to change the date. You want everything to be perfect, and if you have to change that date you should do so.
Have a simple wedding at home and don't change the date.
Well ask yourself this: Do you really love eachother? And do you guys want to remember your wedding?



If so, I say yes on changing your date so its more memorable. And you have more money to make your night a dream come true%26lt;3



It doesnt hurt to change the date, you guys love eachother%26lt;3
What's more important, getting married to the man you want to spend the rest of your life with or arranging a party?



Go get married and do the legal things and then have a party later when it suits everyone.



A wedding is just one day; a marriage is for life (I hope).



Good luck!
if it is what you want, do it...



if you want a big wedding...change the date.



follow your heart..
Of course you can change the date. it's done all of the time and it is called 'postponing the wedding' no big deal.
If that specific date is important to you, then I think you should do everything you can do make it happen! :-) You might consider scaling back on some of the choices you had made about the actual wedding/reception, but don't let money dictate the actions of your heart. I'm sure your real friends and family will understand any concessions you need to make in order to keep the original date. Good luck and many blessings on your life together! :-)
I don't know how much you have your heart set on a big wedding but you could have a smaller wedding on the date you want and by making it smaller its a more intimate affair.
I think you should keep the date. Remember, it is not the ceremony or details that matter. It is the vows to one another and the commitment you are making to spend the rest of your lives together that matter. Everything else is just trivial. If you focus on the main reason that you are getting married (hopefully it's not just to have a wonderful party and get gifts), then the details will not matter at all!



Best wishes to you and your fiance for a lifetime of love and joy in one another!
if you see that you dont have the amount of money that you need for the wedding of your dreams then by all means change the date of your wedding to a later day so you could have your feary tale like you wanted to. the other thing you could do if you had your heart set one this day is ask your bank for a small loan and them pay your wedding little by little or have a more simple/ less pricey wedding.
Many people will disagree with me here, but here it is.......

Do not change the date.....change the plans......

Go to a Justice of the Peace, or to the court house and have a very simple wedding. Take the money you would normally invested in a wedding (usually over $10,000 and invest it in a new home, pay off some bills or in your case you don't have to spend what you don't have. Then throw a small party at your house or in a small reception facility and invite the people who truly matter. You will save thousands and not be any less married.....marriage is not a ceremony or ring, it is a commitment ot your spouse, your god and your family.
You have to do what's right for you, but first and foremost you should stop comparng what your progress is against what other couple's progress is.



There is nothing wrong with postponing, especially to save money. There is no shame in that at all. The best thing to remember is that a wedding is just one day, and its not worth paying for years for a debt incurred over the course of less than 24 hours. But do yourself a favor and forget about the other couple's that you know and what they are doing, you have to do what is best for you.



Good luck!
There is no reason to go into debt for a wedding even though it seems you have a lot of peer pressure. Some of the lovliest weddings are small and simple. Try calling all your friends and telling them the wedding in May is off. Period. dont say more than that. Then take a mental break. In january, reflect on what is possible financially and hopefully do a small intimate wedding that will be comfortable. Your friends will totally understand, believe me . You should feel no guilt but rather exhilaration for your honesty and integrity for not spending over your limit.
How fancy do you want your wedding?



The fancier and more elaborate you want your wedding, the sooner you have to start planning it. However if you want a simple informal wedding, you can still make it by May.



Either you have to start making wedding plans soon if you want to get it by May.



If money is a problem and you can not afford to have the wedding you always dreamt about, then by all means, push the wedding date back. But if you really want your dream wedding by May, you have to start comparing prices, finding dress and all the fun stuff.
Its Your wedding, if plans are not coming along smoothly then it should be postponed. You don't wanna remember a wedding that was terrible and nothing was right. Take your time, theres no need to rush something that might turn into a disaster.
why not have a small wedding it doesn't have to be expensive does it,? you could start a new fashion trend and say for instance you want a 1960s small wedding with a wedding breakfast for a few friends and close family! good luck and congratulations!!!!
You have to be practical entering into a marriage. The #1 reason people get divorced is conflict due to money problems. Do you want to start at a disadvantage? What's more important to you, the one day or what follows? I agree with the others but why not do a destination wedding? Go somewhere nice, tie the knot, make some memories and then have a party when you get back.
I think this is up to you and if you are planning a huge wedding or not. You can always be honest with your friends and just tell them that you are waiting till you can afford the things that you want for the wedding or you can have a nice quiet small wedding with a few choice friends and family. There also is just going to the courthouse and having no one, or just a few. Talk it over with your partner.
You have 2 choices, if you want a big fancy wedding then put the date off, if you dont mind down sizing then go ahead for may, if you can afford the venue, most other things can be downsized, also ur family and friends will realise that uve just bought a new house and its all too much for you.



You could also get pregnant over the christmas holidays if u were thinking of children anyway and have the wedding may 2009?
i think perhaps its good idea to change,its better than building pressures of not having no money...surley thats the last thing u want is to get married full of debt...or perhaps tone down the expence of the wedding..my hubby and i didn,t spend hardly anything..we didn,t have great posh do..we had few drinks with our closest friends n family...didn,t get ourselfs in debt...and happy as anything after 12 yrs of marriage,i had friends who married bout the same time...spent a fortune landed in debt.now divoreced.any way good luck to wotever u decide..
Yes, possibly. but more importantly decimate the cost of the wedding!

So many young people mortgage their future happiness by having a wedding at a totally outrageous cost.

Think very carefully.
If it were me, i would have the wedding in a small church. just invite your favourite friends and family. you could also try a themed wedding. Maybe everybody could came in costume or somthing. having the perfect wedding doesn't mean that you have to have the most expensive. As far as money goes there are alot of things that you could save on. Small church, more casual dresses or fashion choices, and the real money saver a cool little, stress the little place to have your party. or, it depends on where you live, you could have the party outside. even go to a park. Have cool games and stress to people in the invtations that it is more of a not so formal wedding. if you have a themed wedding, then throw your wedding at whatever your theme is. Ex. If you have a medevil theme, then just go to a costume rent place and get a gorgous medevil dress for just the time of the wedding, then you won't have to deal with the fact that you just spent 10 million dollars on a dress that you only will wear once.

And if push comes to shove you can always get married in Vegas. lol.

Good luck and i hope that whatever you do, you have the time of your life.
Even though the wedding is important the Marriage is all that really matters.

but since you have your heart set on May 10. 08.

Scale everything down..small dinner use your back yard or a friends to host the event ...

be creative no need to over spend..you still have alot of time..

Martha Stewart.com has so many helpful hints and ideas that is sure to wow your guest...

Because really all that matter you you have found your true love and that will really be felt by all your guest...

We had a small wedding and guess what all our guest to this day ...can remember the buzz of love the felt from us...hehe..we were really so nervous...

We had lunch on the beach, we asked our guest to come bare feet...we paid Indian dancers to come in..... it was really beautiful....most people never saw a live Indian dancer so they were blown away....it was simple yet well thought out...real flowers...and with the back drop of the ocean you really could not ask for more.....So be creative, am sure you can do this girl...chin up stop sulking you have a wedding to plan...:) good Luck~Happy wedding planning ...
Cut expenses on your wedding. Really, in the long run, ask anyone, who isn't rich and spent a ton of $$ on their wedding, and most likely 90% will tell you that they would forfeit the big shindig to have some of that cash now.

A wedding is about the couple getting married, all too often its made into this huge thing that becomes about the event and not the couple any more. Find something or somewhere that is special to the both of you, get a JP, invite only the immediate family, best man and maid of honor (or the must have folks at your wedding) and get married. Then maybe have a small reception in your home.

My next wedding should I ever marry again will be in vegas by an elvis impersonator. Or on the beach, or a quaint meadow, while the wild flowers are blooming.
Ya know you really dont have to make it a big deal... i mean.. thats not what i mean.. of course its a big deal.. but in reality.. its a time when your family and friends can celibrate this time in your life. so... why dont you just get married somehwere that is free... a church or something like that.. and than have the celibration in your own home.. or somenes home that is bigger. or rent a little fire house and.. if you want it to be fancy spend money on things like lights and table clothes and things like that. if you have it earlier in the day it you wont have to buy dinner for everyone.. thats the most expenseive part... why dont you get married around 12 aclock and than have the wedding party from 1-4 or something like that.. than you can just have some appitisers going around somecocktales.. and just have a relaxed party.. that way you have the rest of the night to.... honey moon.. heh heh ....
Could you scale back the wedding and keep your same date? I don't know where you live, but May is usually good for outdoor weddings. You could have your wedding at a park or even in someone's home or back yard. There's no reason you should have to give up your date or go into debt. It's possible to have a lovely small wedding.



Goodluck!
If the date is really important to you, then you could do a small ceremony on that date.

If you want the whole enchilada, big party, and everything, then yes, you should postpone.
Just have a reception. Go to the JP and have a small ceremony in the court house. Invite your Grandmother to be one of your witnesses. The take all the money you would have spent on an elaborate wedding and spend it on a reception!
Hi Addie and congratulations!



First of all...don't feel bad. Everyone's situation is different.



Well, you have two choices:

1. Change the date until you think you will be better off financially.

2. Keep the date and ';scale back'; you ideas/wants.



I absolutely LOVE small weddings. If I were you, I would keep the date of May 10, 2008 and have a small wedding.



The are sooo many ';pluses'; to having a small wedding....not only cost wise...but stress wise as well.



Is your home big enough to host something in your backyard? Or, do you have a relatives home that would be large enough, say for 30 or 40 people?



If you have a ';home'; wedding and reception...you save TONS of money. Or, if you belong to a church, you can still have a church wedding....possibly a reception at the church? or in someone's home? Gardens and parks are also beautiful alternatives.



If you had a home wedding and reception, you can simply have 2 attendants (a maid of honor and best man)....a simple, but elegant gown for you ...and your groom in a suit (or a tux!).



Serve a simple meal....(as an example):

bbq chicken?

various cold salads

rolls

dessert

beer and wine



Maybe someone you know can bake? Maybe get someone to make a cake for you. OR...get a cake from a grocery store bakery....lots cheaper.



Decorate with simple potted plants that you can get from Home Depot or Lowe's....wrap them in pretty paper! Your done!



Get invitations from Michael's, Walmart, Hobby Lobby, etc. and do them yourself on the computer. $25 for a package of 50.



There are many, many ways to save on your ';dream day'; without exceeding the national debt!! lol



Good luck!