Tuesday, September 13, 2011

How do you get a lazy sibling to get off his butt and look for a job?

Does anyone have idea on what to do here? My younger brother is hot headed, rather be his own boss etc.. He used to be EMT where I live. Now he just lays around all day waching my movies on DVD and doing nothing besides watching movies. He also changes jobs faster than I do! He's had more job since we came to Idaho 4 years ago.



What should my parent's or other family members do to help solve this situation? Get him his own website online to earn money that way?What you would do if you were in this situation?How do you get a lazy sibling to get off his butt and look for a job?
Tough love is needed. Start charging a pretty high rent/food charge to him. If he wants to make it, he will have to work. Or, if not, you have to be tough and kick him out.How do you get a lazy sibling to get off his butt and look for a job?
everytime he wants to watch one of your movies...make him pay 5 dollars. when he wants to eat food that you or someone else payed for...make him pay to eat it...ect. when he runs out of money, he wont have a choice but to get a job and keep it. when he can afford to pay his own way then cut him slack on house prices.
Well the first thing I'd do is quit enabling him. There are no consequences for him doing or should I say not doing what he doesn't do. Quit providing for him and by that I mean Food, TV, and all the luxuries he appeareantly has. If he's going to use the electricity to watch tv, tthen put ur foot down and give him the electric bill etc... no $ no more enabling. Personally I would think he would get a little tired of doing nuthin if people would stop supplying him with his needs.
Stop enabling him. My brother-in-law is the same way. We allowed him to live with us on 4 seperate occassions. Got him jobs, didn't charge him a cent (hoping he'd save money, get on his feet, and get a place of his own).

Never happened. He would stop showing up for work (which both myself and bf had gotten him), making us feel badly as we had stood up for him to get him the jobs.

In fact he stole from us, stealing about $100.00 worth of change from - get this - MY underwear drawer, where it was kept. YUCK!

He is now 45 years old and his sister's problem, he lives with her and her bf, who happens to be his good friend. His sister has been trying for the last couple of years to get him out of her home, but the bf, who owns the house, won't let her.

I could care less how many times a person changes his job, but they should make sure they can support themselves.

These types of people need tough love. If he's not paying his way, kick him out. Life on the street probably won't appeal to the fellow. Give him a taste.

That sounds really mean, I know, and I don't consider myself a mean person, but some times by making someone take responsibility for themselves it is the best thing you can do.
Tell him to join http://www.treasuretrooper.com/137569 to earn some money online. You can join too. There are no upfront costs, and the site is legit. I've received many checks from them before. You earn money by filling out surveys, and trying cool offers. I've earned as much as $115 a day! Visit this site to see proof of some members' earnings: http://forum.treasuretrooper.com/index.php?showtopic=17509%26amp;st=720
You may not suggest any business or extend any financial help or any type of help, to your brother in context. You may ';ignite'; entrepreneurship in a gentleman and watch him, for some time. You will have to push him for getting in to some small business, of his own or employment.



Every person can not be an entrepreneur, necessarily. Neither, every person is capable of being a good employee.



All the family members will be required to be Tough, with him, while expressing, concern for him, to him, with lots of affection. You may Start charging a pretty higher rent/food to him, to make him realise the value of time and money,

## with, Dignity of Labour, in short.



If he wants to make it, he will make it. Otherwise, you will be require to work, another plan. Each and every member (ELDERS, only) will have to be tough, but you don't have to kick him out, at all. Please do not ever think in the direction.



@@@ You have a desire to reform a person. You have no intentions to punish the person, if I am not wrong.



Good Luck for a noble cause. God Bless You !!!!!!!!
A good question which has received very good answers. The bottom line is this: the only way to get off the merry-go-round is to get off the merry-go-round. If your brother is not going to change, than either YOU or other family members must change.



The central question for you is: What do YOU want? If you want to stop him from using your DVD machine (or the discs) then take 'em away! The notion that others should ';get'; him something or ';do'; something for him suggests rather strongly that all of you have some emotional investment of your own in maintaining the status quo. In the end, if brother's behavior just thoroughly grosses you out, then maybe you should take your leave It's what I did -and I'm glad..
Connect me to him I can help him figure out what he wants.
stop inabililing........throw the sloth out
I know exactly how you feel. In my family we have a couple of guys who refuse to hold a job. One reason is my parents and their girlfriends allowed them to be irresponsible and continued to provide life neccessities (room and board). My parents are no longer with us and now they are really feeling the brunt of reality because they don't have a solid foundation for survival. Although the lessons should be taught from infancy, its not too late. Your family should let your brother hit rock bottom, don't give him anything and give him a deadline date when he should have a job or put him out. It's not fair to have someone live off of you and never care enough about you to want to share in the labor of life. The longer you allow him to live this way, the longer he will be irresponsible. It's called 'tough love' and it's never too late to start. They are aware of their debt to society and themselves but if no one stands up to him he's not going to budge. Love has nothing to do with it because if they loved you and appreciated all you do they would change. Good Luck.
Is he paying his own way? Is he living at home? Is he paying rent? If not, tell him he has to or move out. Forget the website idea. It usually doesn't work out. If he has no place to live, no way of feeding himself, he'll get a job.



Don't be an enabler.
disable the tv.

hide the movies

charge him rent

dont feed the lazy assterisk

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